But you know what? That has *got* to change. I don't know why exactly, I just know there's something about it that's wrong. Maybe it's as simple as holding myself in high enough regard to say I deserve something, even if it is mildly frivolous (though I'm not one for frivolity in general).
And here we come to a new list. A list of things I've thought in passing that I'd love to have. I'm gonna keep this on hand and refer to it on occasion, perhaps especially on occasions that I think I've accomplished something important, big or small.
things i want!
clothesI realized at some point I needed to make "clothes" its own category. I've never been a clothes horse, but I have always appreciated fashion. Most especially I've coveted good shoes (when I was a little girl in church, I loved getting the seat right next to the outside aisle, where all those returning from communion passed by and where I could subtly inspect their footwear as they did).
» new boots (Frye, please? Though I don't know that they make them quite big enough to fit over my calves.)
» flats! Most of my shoes are cheapy Target buys that are totally adorable but that do no stand up to my whole shoe-wearing strategy, which is where them the hell out. I think something like these Frye ballets (I swear I'm not a Fryehound, I just think they present a nice example of classic styles).
» TOMs. I bought a pair and liked them two years ago, but I ran them into the ground ... not to mention that I'd bought them in the height of my baking days. Before they became so raggedy I had to toss them, they'd gotten caked in flour and sugar. I'll likely opt for the burlap, which I'd always wanted anyway, and which look slightly more durable.
» A pair of Raleigh Denim denims. The jeans are expensive, but they're handmade in Raleigh, N.C., in a store run by a young couple who was running the (very small) retail floor when Patrick and I visited in early winter last year. Mr. Raleigh Denim was very helpful when Patrick was trying to figure out which pair to buy. And the care with which he wrapped the jeans was notable. He also said anytime we were in town, Patrick (or anyone who buys jeans from them) could stop by to have the jeans (which are sold in one length) hemmed to his liking. This'll be the kind of purchase I made when I've reached my goal weight, and which will be one of the most satisfying rewards I can imagine.
» tights (oy, the runs in the ones I have now!)
» new gym attire ... this should probably float at the top of my list. I really, really want nice gym clothes. And to look extra cute in it.
house & home
» frames for some of our lingering Knoxville art
» bento boxes! I'm doing a good job of taking healthy lunches to work. I'd like to make them cuter and more organized with these magic little systems. (these vivo bentos are my favorite so far!)
» a manicure & pedicure (just once!)
» aveda skin care (especially eye cream. I'm getting old, y'all)
» Nice headphones. I have weird ear holes. Those little earbuds that come free with every listening device you buy do NOT fit me. They fall out. They hurt if I shove them in (and then they fall out). I need good old-fashioned headphones. What I have now is, I think, some freebies we picked up on a plane ride? Something like that? And I have no idea what makes for quality. I just know what I got ain't it. It'll be a treat to find nice, comfy headphones that are meant to survive the sweaty lifestyle of a gym mouse like myself (phrase "gym mouse" totally stolen from Bailie at Adventures in Foodland, and I love it!)
I'll add to this list as I think of more things, which I tend to do throughout any given day. Kinda can't wait for my first big (or small) accomplishment!