the difference between kicking ass & being kicked

I've been leaving my spin and abs classes thinking/saying/growling that the aforementioned class "just kicked my ass."

My goals include participating in those classes 100%, because I get halfway through them and feel overwhelmed. I've finished every class, but not without at least a moment (or several moments in a row) of pulling back, resting, cringing.

And that's usually when the ass-kicking begins. The rest of class is me just struggling to keep up and get to the end.

Not to say I don't leave those classes feeling good about myself. Because invariably I'm impressed that I didn't just quit altogether; and the physicality of it always does that adrenaline thing. But my ass? Kicked. For sure.

and then i did the ass-kicking
So then I had this experience during my most recent spin class.

One of my favorite leaders was in front of class (she's ebullient and encouraging and challenging as heck); the room was full; and every time she told us to increase intensity, I did. And every time she said to stand up, I did. Hover? I did it.

Because every time I thought "oh lord I can't," I turned that off and thought instead "I'll just try." It was as simple as that. I decided I'd attempt the climbs, the hovers, the ridiculous resistance.

And by god I got through it. Nearly all. I had to pull back near the end, but only because my body couldn't physically do it.

And when I left class, I thought "I just kicked ass."

Which of course immediately made me wonder what made that class different than the others.

I don't think my fitness has improved so much to answer for the difference; I wasn't loaded with coffee; the best answer I could come up with was that when I was faced with challenge, I decided I'd take it on.


this is what it looks like being kicked in the ass:
Challenge: Wanna take a go?
Me: No.
Challenge: Haha. I won!


this is what it looks like when I kick ass:
Challenge: Wanna take a go?
Me: Duh.
Challenge: Oh reeeaaaally?
Me: Umm, yeah, why not?
Challenge: Oh, well, uhhh ... OK, then.
Me: Haha! I. WON.

I won't cross 100%-spin-class goal off my list yet; I'd like to see how I do over the course of several weeks of classes. But I'm headed the right way.