Just this morning I finally noticed my jeans are hanging a little looser. Not much. Just enough for me to notice. But also just enough for me to open up my brain to The Future Lindsay.
I've been very happy to take on good habits for their own sake (and proud of myself, too). I have this idea that I want to set a preliminary weight goal of 115 (I'm about 124 now). I know I want to be stronger and stand up straighter.
But those goals have felt far off and detached. All the work I've been doing for nearly two months has made me feel *good*, but in only barely-discernible ways.
Which has suggested to me a homeostasis. Healthfulness but little change otherwise.
And then Boom. Bam. Jeans are loose! Inside my brain, something like this is happening "I could be trim! Lean! Maybe I'll wear bikinis, like, ALL summer. I'll have muscles. Other people will be able to see them. No tummy roll? REALLY? Maybe! Just maybe!"
I'm not on some get-skinny rampage now. It's just that I suddenly feel like all this healthfulness might also lead to a Lindsay I've never seen before. (I have weighed as little as 107 lbs., but I didn't get their with exercise. I was still flabby, with little muscle [which I didn't think was possible at 107? Apparently it is?].)
This Lindsay might look like an ... athlete? Like one of those cute yoga ladies? A gymnast (I *do* have trunk-y thighs)? I actually don't know. But I am totally stoked to find out.
And all because my jeans are a tiny bit loose! Who knew?